Caregiver Stress and Guilt in Singapore: Tips on How to Cope

Caring for a loved one is a noble and rewarding responsibility, but it often comes with its own set of challenges. In Singapore, where family bonds are strong, many of us take on the role of a caregiver‒whether for elderly parents, ailing spouses, or children with special needs. While this role can bring a sense of fulfillment, it can also lead to significant stress and feelings of guilt. Understanding how to cope with these emotions is essential for the quality of care we can provide and for our own well-being.

What is caregiver stress and guilt?

Singapore’s population is ageing rapidly and caregivers play a crucial role in supporting their loved ones. It has been estimated that by the year 2030, 1 in 4 Singaporeans will be aged 65 and above. This means that the number of caregivers required will also increase, with a current estimate of over 210,000 individuals providing care for loved ones.

So, what exactly is caregiver stress and guilt? And how common are these feelings?

Caregiver stress is the emotional and physical strain of caregiving. It is a common experience and can manifest as physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. According to a global study published in 2017, 40.2% of caregivers for stroke survivors experienced depressive symptoms while 21.4% reported feelings of anxiety.

Caregiver guilt, on the other hand, accompanies caregiver stress. It arises from the feeling that you are inadequate and not doing enough for your loved one. You may also feel that you should be able to handle everything on your own. This guilt can be overwhelming and lead to emotional distress and even burnout in some people. Caregiver guilt typically stems from various sources such as:

• Feeling inadequate in providing care
• Neglecting other responsibilities and relationships
• Experiencing negative emotions or resentment towards the care recipient
• Not taking sufficient time for necessary self-care

What is caregiver burnout in Singapore?

Caregiver burnout occurs as a result of sustained and prolonged stress and guilt stemming from caregiving responsibilities. It is important that we recognise the signs of caregiver burnout as it is necessary for our mental well-being. Some symptoms of caregiver burnout include:

• Emotional symptoms: Irritability, sadness, mood swings, or feeling overwhelmed.
• Physical symptoms: Fatigue, headaches, changes in appetite, or frequent illnesses.
• Behavioural changes: Withdrawing from social activities, neglecting personal responsibilities, or becoming overly critical of oneself.

Dealing with caregiver stress and guilt

1. Recognise and acknowledge your feelings

One of the first steps to dealing with and managing caregiver stress and guilt is recognising and acknowledging the symptoms. The next step is realising that self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary. It is essential to maintaining your ability to provide good quality care to your ward. You may try to incorporate some lifestyle adjustments for a start. These may include:

• Exercise: Regular exercise, even just a short walk, can do wonders for your mental health. A recent study has shown that frequent exercise has a positive impact on mental health and quality of life. A quick walk around the block or a short workout in front of the television can significantly improve your mood.

• Balanced diet: A balanced diet can help improve your energy levels, strengthen your immune system, and improve your quality of sleep. All of which will alleviate your stress levels and improve your quality of life.

• Sleep: Sometimes, caregiving requires round-the-clock care and adequate sleep is commonly put on the back burner. However, sleep is one of the most important aspects of human health. Good quality sleep can help to regulate your emotions, enhance your immune system, and improve your cognitive function.

How do we incorporate these lifestyle adjustments when the caregiving work is never-ending? This brings us to our next point: seek support.

2. Seek support from others

Do remember that you do not have to carry the weight alone; and it is alright to ask for help. You are not alone in your caregiver journey and seeking help or advice from others can help improve your caregiving experience. There are various caregiver support groups in Singapore, such as Caregiving Welfare Association, Agency for Integrated Care (AIC), Caregivers Alliance Limited, and CaringSG. These groups offer a safe and comfortable space for you to talk with like-minded individuals who are in similar circumstances.

There are virtual and physical sessions available, providing caregivers the opportunity to reflect, acquire necessary skills and knowledge, and learn from other members’ experiences. The sharing of experiences and training sessions foster mutual support, empowering caregivers to better manage the challenges they face.

Other support options for caregivers include:

• Home care services
• Healthcare professionals
• Family members or friends

3. Be realistic and mindful

Recognise that you are only human and perfection is not realistic. Set small achievable goals and work from there; understand that it is alright to have limitations. Practice mindfulness so you can reduce your stress and increase emotional resilience. You may want to consider meditation, gratitude journaling, and taking each day one step at a time.

4. Stay connected

No man is an island. Social isolation can exacerbate stress and guilt, so remember to make an effort to:

• Stay connected to your friends and family
• Join support groups and communities
• Share your knowledge
• Participate in community activities
• Stay informed about your loved one’s conditions

Conclusion

Caregiver stress and guilt are not only common; they are almost inevitable in this demanding role. However, remember that these feelings do not define your caregiving journey. With a wealth of resources and support systems, from respite care services to support groups, help is always available for caregivers in Singapore whenever you feel overwhelmed. It is not a sign of weakness to seek assistance; rather, it is a testament to your commitment to providing the best care possible.

By prioritising your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being, you're not only taking care of yourself but also ensuring that you can provide better care for your loved one. Think of it as putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts, celebrate small victories, and do not hesitate to lean on the support systems available. Your well-being is just as important as that of your loved one, and by balancing both, you can create a more positive and sustainable caregiving experience.

Should you or a loved one require an additional layer of support, you may start by speaking to your doctor, e.g. a GP, or you may also consider seeking home care services at Parkway Shenton.